Cycles
by JYue
Summary: Shikamaru always preferred to keep his grief to himself but that night he found out some people did need to share their painful memories in order to move on. Things would probably lead to a troublesome, yet interesting result. ShikaNaru.


**Disclaimer:** I don't own Naruto. Probably never will...

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**Cycles**

The night was cold, and darker than the usual due to the heavy cloud cover, an evident give-away of future rain, blocking the way of the pale and already weak moonlight. Silence took reign over the graveyard, giving the place a somber look enhanced by the fog floating among the tombs. It was late. Midnight was already drifting away slowly, just like Shikamaru was doing across that little road he had walked so many times before.

He carried a small oil lamp in his hand, carelessly lighting the way ahead of him. He really had no need of the light since that path was already engraved in his memory after all his many visits, but he liked to watch the intriguing shadows created by the candlelight. The shadows helped him to keep his mind occupied by trying to find patterns to the odd shapes.

Anything was better than turning to the memories of those days that would never come back. So he distracted himself by watching the other tombstones alongside the road. In a few hours the place would be full of hundreds of families paying respect to their loved ones that had already left this earthly life. The next three days would be filled by bittersweet feelings and festivities that would take place. Those festivities were probably created with only the purpose of lessening the pain that reemerged by the memories of those who were no longer here.

It was the first time that Shikamaru had someone to honor on such holidays, but it certainly wasn't the first time he had shed tears before his old sensei's grave. He was certain it wouldn't be the last. He decided to pay his visit before the whole chaos that always came when such days started, so that he could be free to express all the accumulated pain without worries of being seen. The rest of the village would start showing in a few hours of the barely started day.

That's why he was surprised when he heard the unmistakable sound of footsteps reaching him clearly because of the quietness settled over graveyard. He identified the noise's source, by locating a lone figure holding an oil lamp just a few meters ahead. The other person had apparently noticed his presence too because they remained still in the middle of the road.

Familiar as he was to the shadows and using his exceptional deduction skills it didn't took him long to identify the individual. His mind continued making connections, and the initial surprise was replaced by a dawning feeling of comprehension. He wasn't the only one to have lost a mentor this past year.

"Naruto…" Shikamaru whispered, resuming his walk.

He stopped in front of the other ninja and the combined light of the two lamps was bright enough to let him distinguish Uzumaki's face, whose cheeks glistened with the trails of tears. The blond's eyes remained stuck to the ground, and his body was shaking with irregular breathing as he refused to acknowledge the other boy's presence.

"Naruto…" Shikamaru repeated. His voice was free of boredom, showing this time nothing but a deep feeling of real exhaustion.

When the face of the other boy lifted to confront him Shikamaru felt his heart stop at the sight. Naruto's eyes were always so expressive by reflecting faithfully any feelings he had. Shikamaru was used to the excessive happiness, the anger, and the stubborn courage shining on that pair of blue eyes, but not to the deep sorrow they were showing now.

"I…" Naruto started with shaky voice. "It's… it's just that…" his face was contracted on a gesture of complete devastation. "I miss him so much!"

The tears were back and flowing freely over the blond's face. Naruto was always one to put his whole heart in every aspect and every action of his life, and Shikamaru was realizing that crying was no exception. An intense flash of light filled the place, giving Shikamaru a clear image of Uzumaki's crestfallen expression. The strong sound of the thunder came a few seconds later, and with that the brief moment of light vanished, leaving the two ninjas nothing but the faint light of their lamps.

To orchestrate the sorrowful moment nature decided it was the right time to let the rain start falling down hard and unstoppable like Naruto's tears. Every possible course of action started playing in Shikamaru's head, searching for the right one for such a delicate situation. What was the right decision to take when Naruto, the only person that had managed to catch his attention, was crying his heart out in front of him?

The blond's eyes were once again stuck to the ground, probably ashamed after that brief moment of light in which they had the chance to see each other. His shoulders were still shaking, a dead give away of his crying even if he kept his face hidden. The rain kept falling, making its way into the boy's clothes. Shikamaru doubted he had seen a more moving image than the one his friend was showing right now, so vulnerable in every possible aspect.

"Hey." Shikamaru said, placing one tentative hand on the other's shoulder. "It's… it's okay, you know?" he frowned, irritated with himself. For the first time in a long time he doubted about what to do next. "Just…"

There was no need for him to finish that sentence because the impact of Naruto's body colliding with him erased from his mind where the whole conversation was going to. He could hear the clear sound of glass breaking, which was probably the lamp the blond was holding before, since Shikamaru could now feel both of his hands clutching at his back, attached to his body.

"It's not fair!" cried Naruto, burying his face on the other boy's shoulder. "Damn Ero-sennin… getting himself killed like that! I… I…"

Shikamaru understood what Naruto was trying to say but couldn't express. There were no words capable of defining the pain produced by the emptiness that came with the loss of a loved one. At those times the only thing left were sobs and wails. He did his best to help the blond who was pouring his heart out by hugging him with his only free arm and whispering soft words of comfort in his ear.

He was sure Naruto understood that his teacher was gone, and that he had an honorable death which he had embraced willingly, and that his sacrifice contributed to the village's safety. It wasn't blame or denial that the bond was showing now, but the frustration that came with the comprehension of reality, when there's nothing left to justify your grief but your own pain. Understanding the cycles of life wasn't the same as accepting them.

Even though the moment was enveloped by a circumstance of suffering, Shikamaru found himself enjoying the physical contact of Uzumaki's body. It had been a while since he had come to terms with the fact of being one of the many victims that were captivated by the blond's charm. He however, had decided to keep this interest to himself, because any attempt at approaching the loud ninja would inevitably bring troublesome results.

Nonetheless, his sleazy mind was enjoying the situation by presenting him with other interesting scenes in which he could have Naruto crying out in his arms for very different reasons that had nothing to do with pain. He stopped that train of thought at the same time he also interrupted the trail his hand was making on his friend's lower back. It was unthinkable that he was having those kinds of ideas when Naruto sobbed heartbroken under the rain in the middle of a graveyard.

Time passed and little by little the tremors of the blond's body ceased and his breathing started to regulate, and even the rain lessened. They remained in that position, holding each other, but it wasn't a desperate embrace in search of help anymore. It was a real hug, and calmer. Yet the moment couldn't last forever and when Uzumaki's hold began to weaken Shikamaru knew it was time to let go.

"Better?" Shikamaru asked. A small nod and an attempt of a smile were his answer. "Let's go, then. It's goddamn cold out here." he considered it safe to go back to his usual lazy demeanor. "The last thing I want is to catch a cold…"

The wind was blowing harder, fully hitting them since they were standing in the middle of an open space. It felt like the temperature had gone a few degrees down but Shikamaru thought it was probably just the effect of the wet clothes on their body temperature. Naruto kept getting closer and closer, probably searching unconsciously for a source of heat.

They were walking shoulder to shoulder, when an especially strong gust of wind hit them. Shikamaru saw his lamp, the one that had managed to make it through the rain, succumb to the wind's force. He felt the other ninja flinch when the darkness settled upon the place, leaving them at the mercy of their other four available senses.

Shikamaru sighed when Uzumaki, despite how much stronger he had gotten lately, kept bumping into the gravestones and deliberately stepping out of the road with just a few steps. Shikamaru knew the way, and hell, he could even say how many footsteps were needed to leave the place, so he could easily take them to the exit. Against his better judgment he entwined his right hand with Naruto's left and started walking, guiding him in silence. The old oil lamp remained forgotten in the middle of the road.

The blond complied, hesitating for just a second before taking a firm hold of the other's hand, and like that they moved forward. Shikamaru settled a slow pace to prevent Uzumaki from tripping. He already had enough problems trying not to slip on the muddy ground. Meanwhile, Shikamaru had his own issues to deal with. He had to do his best to remain impassive every time Naruto's body brushed against his or used him for support. It should take them, about ten minutes to reach the exit but, in the current situation, it would probably feel like much longer. Knowing a fire jutsu would sure come in handy now…

"Come on, Naruto." Shikamaru said, speaking just for the sake of breaking the silence. Any distraction was very welcomed. "Where's your so called toad sage power now? All you have to do is walk straight, it's not even that troublesome."

The silence engulfed everything again and if the lack of an answer from the blond wasn't enough to raise the alarms in Shikamaru's head the halt the other came to did so. He feared that his comment had brought back the memories of the dead sannin.

"Shikamaru…" Naruto started his voice an unusual low tone. "You came here to visit Asuma sensei, right?"

"Yes." he answered, uncomfortable at being unable to see clearly the other's face because of the darkness. He tried to sound as natural as possible, even though they were still holding hands. "That's right."

"I'm sorry…" the blond's voice sounded hoarse because of the crying. "For before. I'm sure you didn't come here to listen to some sobbing and a dramatic scene."

"It's alright." Shikamaru said nonchalantly. It was one of the few times he regretted having so little experience with people. "It wasn't that bad…"

"Yeah…" Naruto whispered, rubbing small circles with his thumb on the other boy's hand. "It wasn't, right?"

Shikamaru heard the sound of Naruto's hesitating feet and managed to distinguish the blond's figure getting near among the shadows. When Uzumaki's face stopped in front of him and started closing the distant between them Shikamaru's mind contemplated in the few seconds every available possible conclusion to the current situation. He felt his heart rate increase when he found out almost everything pointed to the same result, but that didn't make it less surprising when Naruto's hot breath touched his face.

"Hey, Shikamaru…" his voice was barely anything more than a whisper. "Would you mind if I…?" he tightened his grip on the other boy's hand, but only to release it a second later. "You know what?" he took a step back. "Forget it, it's…"

Cursing himself inwardly for what he was about to do, Shikamaru made one of the few impulsive decisions in his whole life. He reached for the blond's hand and pulled it with force, bringing him back so their faces were again just inches away. A faint yelp of surprise escaped Uzumaki's lips, startled by the sudden movement. Shikamaru felt the last bits of his resolve vanishing by the closeness of their bodies. If Naruto was about to say anything he had no chance to say it, as his mouth was silenced by the other boy's lips.

Naruto didn't struggle at the contact, so Shikamaru decided the risky part was over. He doubted this could be called a proper kiss, since it was barely the union of two pairs of lips without any other movement whatsoever. He decided to leave the terminology for later, focusing instead on the feeling of completion that came with sharing such an intimate act with the object of his affection.

They remained like that, standing under the rain. Their breathing was the only sound in the darkened graveyard. Shikamaru lifted his left hand to caress Naruto's cheek before breaking apart. The blond's skin had felt cold and wet, and being so close he could distinguish the surprised expression on his face.

"Shikamaru…" Naruto started a moment later. "Truth is I was just going to ask you for another hug…"

"Oh." Shikamaru found himself at a loss for words, his mind working double time to find an excuse to justify his actions. "I…"

"I think I like your idea better." Naruto interrupted with the usual mischief back in his voice. "Guess they don't call you genius for nothing." He pulled Shikamaru's hand and started dragging him forward. "Come on, you lazy bum. If we're going to continue with this it better be somewhere nice and dry."

The blond had barely managed to take two or three steps ahead when he slipped again, but was able to avoid a fall just because of the firm grip of the other ninja's hand.

"Man, you sure are a bother…" Shikamaru complained, taking the lead. "What I ever saw in you I'll never know."

"It was probably my ravishing looks." Naruto answered, letting himself being led. "Or my undeniable masculinity."

"Undeniable masculinity?" Shikamaru repeated, incredulously. "Yeah, well, that's not what I heard from Sai…"

"Sai is a bastard and a liar!" Naruto yelled clearly offended. "Next time I see him I'll make him eat his words… I'll kick that stupid smile of his off of his face!"

It was nice to have the loud and happy Naruto the one Shikamaru was used to back. After a couple of minutes of walking in the dark they finally reached the graveyard's exit. The place was illuminated by two big lamps. The two boys stared at each other in silence, their hands still entwined even though it was no longer necessary. Shikamaru smiled at the pitiful sight of Naruto's drenched hair and wet mud stained clothes. He probably looked the same, but he didn't want to think of all the explaining he would have to do when he got back home.

Shikamaru knew it was time to deal with what happened back there. He released Uzumaki's hold and put his hands back in his pockets. The darkness was behind them now and the blond's moment of vulnerability had passed. So now, face to face and in a better state of mind, Shikamaru was gonna make things clear, and find out if that kiss really meant something.

"Well, Naruto…" Shikamaru started getting straight to the point. "We have two choices here: first one is fast and simple, the other one is a long-term one and will probably end up bringing lots of trouble to the two of us."

"So… which one includes you kissing me again?" Naruto asked.

"The long troublesome one." Shikamaru answered.

"Right." Naruto said, moving forward until he was right in front of the other ninja. "Let's take that one, then."

Shikamaru knew beforehand that would be Uzumaki's answer. He always chose the hardest way possible, but he was glad to hear it anyway. He was leaning closer to the blond's face again, but now he took his time to really see him as their lips got closer. Even though they were still under the rain and the cold wind kept blowing mercilessly against them, the longing in Naruto's blue eyes and his half open lips were all it took for Shikamaru's body temperature to start rising.

The moment their lips finally touched it wasn't just an innocent brush but a real kiss, demanding and passionate, with an exchange of contained want and new hopes for the future. While Shikamaru held the blond's body tight against his own he realized how odd it was to be starting something in a place where things usually ended. He didn't knew if it was a good or bad sign, and his mind kept telling him it probably meant nothing at all. Nonetheless, he couldn't avoid thinking it may be a final posthumous lesson from their mentors, reminding them that some opportunities won't knock twice and that nothing lasts forever. Whatever the case may be, Shikamaru decided that the only thing that really mattered was the start of this new cycle for them and the possibilities that came with it. The day was just starting and things were looking good already.

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A/N: Hello there! Thank you very much for reading. My special thanks to Makura Moderski for encouraging me to translate my stories and betaing for me, she's the best :)

Any comments would be very much appreciated!


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